


The Worst Patient On Atlantis

by respoftw



Series: 30 prompt OTP challenge - McShep [8]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M, hospital stay, outsider pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-07 07:59:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10355769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/respoftw/pseuds/respoftw
Summary: Guess who was unanimously voted the worst patient on Atlantis?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt #8: Making Gifts for each other

The infirmary staff had a list, not written down, certainly not saved on the server where anyone could find it, but a list nonetheless, ranking the members of the expedition from the best patients to the worst patients.

Carson didn't know about the list; at least, not officially. He would never condone such a thing and if he ever did find a copy stuffed in between patient files he would have been very quick to berate his staff for ever writing something like that down. It's also possible that he may have argued that his place at number seven on said list was wholly uncalled for.

Regardless of whether Carson knew about it or not, the fact remained that the infirmary staff had a list of the worst patients on Atlantis and the fact remained that Rodney McKay was the unanimous number one with a bullet. Not that his whining was limited to bullet wounds. In fact, if anything, Rodney's difficulty as a patient was reversely proportionate to the seriousness of his injury. Hang nails, splinters, and sprained thumbs caused by too vigorous a remote control car race were feared by the infirmary staff more than bullet wounds, knife wounds, concussions and (on one memorable occasion) impalings.

But the worst part of a Rodney McKay visit to the infirmary, was the recuperation time.

A bored Rodney McKay was a thing to be feared above all and trying to police McKay's usage of his laptop and trying to stop any contraband foods from sneaking in to his bedside deserved a level of hazard pay that the SGC weren't fully willing to recognise no matter how many memos the staff sent in their weekly updates.

Rodney's team were a godsend during those long hours, days and (god forbid) weeks of recovery. The only peace the infirmary staff got was during those visits, when Ronon would prop his feet on Rodney's bed and detail with great relish every single new item on the menu in the mess hall, or when Teyla would draw Rodney into quiet conversation, or when Colonel Sheppard would sprawl out in the chair next to Rodney's bed and make jokes while his eyes meticulously detailed every cut, bruise or sign of illness.

Sheppard always pulled Carson aside and demanded a rundown of his progress after every visit. The infirmary staff were pretty evenly divided on whether they thought it was cute or pathetic.

Marie came firmly on the side of cute. She'd watched the Colonel sit unmoving at Rodney's bedside during the bad times far too often to have any doubt about his feelings for Rodney. She'd seen it the other way around too, with Rodney pecking quietly away at his laptop next to an unconscious John Sheppard, his eyes darting up to look at the monitor readings every thirty seconds, as if John would drift off the moment Rodney stopped paying attention. Marie knew that her job meant seeing people at their most open, their most vulnerable and she kept any secrets that they might reveal during those times close to her chest. In a lot of ways, being a nurse on Atlantis was a little like being a priest, hearing confessions of the soul that couldn't be shared outside of these four walls.

Still, no matter how much Marie rooted for the Colonel and Dr. McKay, she agreed wholeheartedly with the list. Rodney was the worst patient on Atlantis and when she started her shift that morning and found out that Colonel Sheppard's team (well, the three quarters of it that weren't laid up in the infirmary recovering from a collapsed lung) were going to be offworld for the next three days, she seriously considered turning around and going back to bed.

"Hey, Marie," Colonel Sheppard ducked his head into the nurse's office fifteen minutes before he was due in the gate room, already geared up, his P-90 dangling from its clip on his vest. Rodney was asleep which Marie knew was good for him. Sleep, after all, was one of the great healers, but in that moment she gave serious consideration to waking him up anyway, if only because the temporary reprieve now was nothing compared to the pouting that would follow when he realised he'd missed his chance to say goodbye to John.

Colonel Sheppard must have read some of those thoughts in her eyes, his mouth ticking up into a wry grin. "I can't stay," he apologised. "Lorne's waiting for a handover but," he pulled a slim booklet out of his vest, "I want you to give Rodney this when he wakes up. Consider it a present from me to you."

Marie took the offered booklet and flipped through it, letting out a startled laugh as she realised that it was a handmade puzzle book with complex equations, sudoku grids and other things that she didn't even recognise. She raised her eyes to look at the Colonel who was grinning shyly, ducking his head like a kid caught passing a note to his sweetheart in class. Which, Marie thought, was kind of apt.

"Maybe it'll be enough to knock McKay off the top spot on that list of yours," he teased.

Marie opened her mouth to protest and John laughed, waving her off and already backing away. "You spend enough time in here, you start to hear things," he said. "You might want to watch where you guys talk about that stuff. And, for the record, Ronon is a much worse patient than I am. I'm disputing my position at number 3." With that, John gave a little mocking salute and escaped.

Marie finished her paperwork and, after checking on Rodney's vitals (still stable, if a little on the high side, she made a mental note to speak to Carson) she propped the booklet on the small side table, in front of the water glass where Rodney would be sure to see it when he woke up.

Not long after that, a small accident in the Jumper bay left Marie running ragged between four new patients and assisting on a minor surgery to remove some shrapnel. It was only seven hours later, her feet aching and her head pounding, that she realised that she hadn't heard a peep from Rodney all day.

Pulling back the curtain that blocked Rodney's bed from the rest of the room, she bit down on a smile at the sight of Rodney's concentrated frown and the harried scratching of a pencil in the booklet. She knew for a fact that the only writing implement that had been near Rodney's bed that morning was an ink pen and wondered which of her colleagues had the pleasure of being asked for a pencil and eraser. She had always suspected that Colonel Sheppard hid a big brain under all that hair.

"Dr. McKay," she interrupted softly, "can I get you anything?"

Rodney looked up from his puzzle just long enough to dismiss her. "No, no, I'm fine," he waved his hand at her.

Seeing his empty water pitcher, Marie picked it up. "How about some more water?"

Surprised, Rodney nodded. "Oh, right. Yes, that would be good."

Marie smiled and turned to leave.

"Uh, wait, Mary?"

Marie rolled her eyes before turning back to face him. There was no point correcting him on her name, frankly she had been surprised he'd gotten that close. "Yes, Dr. McKay?"

"The, uh, the people who came in earlier? They're all ok?"

Marie softened. "Yes, Dr. McKay. They're all fine."

"Good," Rodney nodded distractedly. "That's good."

Marie smiled. Maybe Colonel Sheppard was right, maybe Rodney didn't deserve the top spot on the list.

"Oh, and Mary? Maybe put some ice in the water this time? And would it kill you to turn the temperature up in here? I'm pretty sure having your patients freeze to death when you're supposed to be curing them is a bad thing. Oh, and - -"

On the other hand, maybe McKay would hold on to that top spot a little bit longer.

 

 


End file.
